Teen shooters, a communication

[Kerry]

A news report I'd like to hear:

The trend of high school shootings prompts us to take high school and college communication courses to the next level; what's being taught about intrapersonal & interpersonal communication has brought us this far, including teenagers (future parents) who are not being taught how to disappear upsets and anger, teens who drag unacknowledged perpetrations and unresolved upsets into each new interaction.*

Far too often reporters write, "No one knew the teen was upset." Or, they will quote a shooter's parent, "I had no idea . . ." Both of these statements are out-right (albeit unconscious) lies, yet no one acknowledges these reporters for their misleading statements. Such lies have undesirable karma for all concerned, especially us readers.**

The truth is, more than one fellow classmate did suspect something. They could see that the shooter was not acting "normal."  Friends, teachers, and parents knew that something was going on with the teen. No one knew how to get into communication with the teen. The hypocrisies of everyone (including superficial pretenses of friendliness) generated even more disrespect, contempt and anger.

All teenagers are deceiving their parents about something. --there are no exceptions to this phenomenon. Parents are unaware that they are teaching their child to deceive them, evidenced by the fact that the majority of teens con each other into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex. A shooter can experience everyone's hypocrisies. We expect teens to accept and operate in our system of buying elections, off-shore banking, the 1% richest, a President who blatantly and consistently lies, and worst of all, teachers who don't know how to communicate subject matter (to them specifically). The hopelessness drives many teens to drugs or suicide. Meanwhile reporters keep asking questions that don't address the truth.

A teen is either happy and doing well in life and school or they are non-verbally communicating that they are not in-communication with anyone.***  They, like everyone with whom they are relating, have become stuck doing their imitation of communication, referred to as talking. Talking about a problem causes the problem to persist whereas communicating a problem resolves the problem.

The look on a teen's face communicates volumes. Lacking verbal skills a teen begins dramatizing their very first unresolved upset non-verbally. "I'm upset, I'm not happy and I don't know how to get happy; can't you see my face?" Contrary to the belief of most everyone, teens do not "normally" go through pouting, grumpy or attitude stages; all prolonged undesirable behaviors (attitudes) begin with a single incident that was not cleared through to mutual satisfaction. One biggie for teens is when parents are treating each other abusively, daily arguments and withholding thoughts from each other; teens will do anything to restore the experience of love that once was. When they fail to cause love between his/her creators it invalidates them to the core. Note: It's not that parents treat each other abusively, it's that the teen has never heard either acknowledge the abuse responsibly, without blame. Father to mother, in front of the child: "I get that what I just said didn't feel good."

* In other words, teachers, parents and teens are not taught how to acknowledge "get"  another's upset or anger; this leaves the upset teen no option other than to continue dramatizing his/her upset.

** It is unethical to ask someone a question that elicits a lie, except that one keeps asking until the truth is realized and communicated responsibly (from cause). Else the question-asker becomes responsible for the undesirable karma generated by the co-created lie.

*** In a family that communicates openly, honestly, and spontaneously, family members who are committed to maintaining their integrity (clearing**** each other daily), it's virtually impossible for any family member to be dragging around upsets.  The Columbine teen shooters < https://www.bigislandforum.org/forums/index.php/topic,2357.0.html >were not in-communication with anyone. Both were withholding one or more significant thoughts from someone of significance. There are no exceptions to this phenomenon.

**** The Clearing Process and a must for parents, Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person/Teen

Last edited 9/15/24