What to say to a rude cell phone user.
Ans: 1. Say nothing. It's a setup. You're being goaded to point out their inconsiderateness so that they can vent some of their pent-up anger.
It's unlikely that you have the verbal communication skills to pull off a mutually satisfying conversation with them, one that will effect a transformation. Theirs is a covert abusive communication rooted in a childhood incomplete. They are in fact addicted to abuse and need their daily fix. If they can hook you into criticizing them their reactionary upset gives them something to do other than experience the pain underneath their contempt for your serenity.
Keep in mind that all cell phone users have read the articles—that others find it distracting, if not irritating, to have to listen to another's cell phone conversation. So you already know that they operate from a place of contempt and disregard for the space of others. They make this choice consciously, much like a barking dog owner does.
Is there an alternative? Is there something besides trying to engage them verbally or with stink-eye, or by means of integrity-compromising (upset stuffing) silence? Yes.
After reading this article you’ll now have a choice. To hand them this clipping or to reward/reinforce their abuse. Silence on your part is in fact an empowering communication. Silence unwittingly sets it up for them to do it to another. Like a driver who purposefully thwarts others in going the speed limit an inconsiderate cell phone user has yet to discover the correlation between their manners and the results they are producing in life and relationships. Unconsciously what they are looking for is someone who won't buy into their act, someone who will support them in getting to the source of their anger.
What you can do is give them this clipping. It's called service. It will serve them.
Here are two possibilities that could come from your service:
1) They will read this and have a visceral experience of embarrassment and uncomfortableness. The ideal response is if they don't say anything to you. They will know that their cry for help got gotten, and, at some level, they will respect the courage it took to deliver this communication—knowing that you risked their wrath. Your communication will impact them for life.
2) They will read it and it will trigger upset, or anger, or even rage. In other words, if the person is abusing others (read – needs to be caught) say in their personal relationship, they will have no choice but to react. Like a puppet, they will be driven to abuse you even more, with attitudinal posturing or stink-eye or even verbally. If you are steadfast in your commitment to service, letting them vent and walk away from you still upset, you not having said anything, they will have an experience later at home of what THEY did, rather than what you did or said. Ironically, whatever they say is what you need to hear for your growth.
Ans 2. Mastery is—intending what's so to be so. That is to say, you can't create anything until you can create (intend) the now. In short, intend that they keep doing it until it doesn't bother you. It might be time to be more considerate of where you frequent and judge.
When you serve you are served.
Feel free to make copies of this blog.
