Updated: 1/7/22
Last year I spent 30+ days at the Yukio Okutsu State Veterans Home in Hilo (next door to the Hilo Medical Center). This acknowledgment is but a token of my appreciation for the wonderful care they provided. Admin, doctors, nurses, lab technicians, food prep staff, entertainment staff and the cheerful thorough cleaning staff, all provided exemplary care. I felt honored and validated for
my service. —Kerry
The Home is (was) administered by the Avalon Health Care Group, a mainland organization. As they say in the military, they sure have their kaka together.
Avalon's feedback evaluation survey didn't have places for my specific
incompletes so,
in support of excellence, I emailed Avalon a link to this post of the following considerations:
1. I was ineffective in supporting their "No perfume" policy; it's not enforced nor effectively supported by the staff. Enduring waves of nauseating perfume while having one's blood pressure taken x times daily gets in the way of appreciating the service. Aside from my own aversion, I'm concerned because I know some elderly are reluctant to mention it for various (often cultural "no make waves") reasons.
It's possible that some elderly patient is extremely allergic to scents and their doctor keeps treating the person's symptoms incorrectly, given say, a "senior" patient's inability to verbally describe a breathing problem.
As a Leadership-Communication-Skills Coach, I've experienced that infractions such as this (by more than one nurse on each shift) are evidence of fear in the space; it is a covert communication of disrespect. Specifically, all (not just one, but all) the supervisors are afraid to rigidly enforce, not only this but other policies as well. It causes some patients/staff, who observe an infraction, to remain silent, to compromise their integrity, so as to not be thought of as a trouble-maker. Such an out-integrity by one affects all outcomes.
Having a patient feeling less than good about an interaction is inconsistent with the purpose of healing.
The closer an org comes to functioning at the level of excellence the more obvious the correlation between personal integrity and outcomes. Most importantly, it reveals that the supervisors do not conduct daily and weekly clearing sessions
* for everyone. Clearings create space for all "good" and "bad" performances to be acknowledged and completed; otherwise, such incompletes (especially unacknowledged perpetrations) are dragged into new communications serving as barriers to consistently manifesting one's stated intentions. More importantly, it reveals that the supervising staff is not clear about responsibility. They have not taught their subordinates how to be responsible for supporting the rules; therefore, if a new nurse notices that an old-timer is wearing perfume, they, the newbie, non-verbally, sets it up for someone else to mention the out-integrity, rather than handle it (for fear of . . .).
2. The breakfast menu listed "Orange Juice" each morning. It was, and is in fact, an orange drink (with sweetener), not even reconstituted orange juice. It remains an incomplete for me because I mentioned (albeit ineffectually) the lie, the deceit, to several staff and no correction was/has been made.
The lie misleads one to think that patients are receiving the most healthy juice. "Orange drink" would correct the deceit. What we do know is that there is a correlation between outcomes (especially in hospitals) and personal integrity. In this instance, silence becomes cause. What's also missing for me is an acknowledgment, for having been willing to risk upset by bringing up the lie in support of the org's integrity. Ignoring someone's attempt at putting in/restoring the integrity of an organization trains one to keep their mouth shut. No doubt others have noticed the discrepancy and have remained silent.
3. I was surprised to discover that fresh fruit was not served while I was there. No local-kine bananas, papayas, mangoes, pineapples, lychees, guavas, passion fruit (a.k.a. lilikoi), and jaboticabas. All fruits served were canned w/suger. Of all the menus in the nation's health-care facilities one would think that Hawaii's elderly veterans, in their twilight years, deserved and would benefit from fresh fruits and vegetables. We all intuit that vitamins, minerals, and live enzymes affect both mental and physical health. Mo betta to charge more per patient and do what's known to optimize health;
otherwise, the mind runs rampant with the reasons an Avalon committee used to opt for canned veggies and fruits. I somewhat understand the logistics and costs to provide at least one fresh fruit per day; it's a business niche that's ripe (pun intended) for a local start-up; it would be a nice contribution to the local agrarian economy for Avalon, the mainland organization, to share their financial prosperity, to bring "us" along with them.
4. I have several considerations about the absence of sugar-free yogurt in the diet. I kept asking and I'd get it for a few meals and then not. There must be disagreement among nutritionists as to the value of yogurt in the intestinal track, especially for those like my self whose treatment for my infected ankle included quarantine isolation and daily heavy doses of antibiotics for about 3-weeks. The American Gastrointestinal Association recommends yogurt/probiotics for digestive health and to ease constipation, diarrhea, and other intestinal problems. A study published in the February 2009 issue of the Journal of Digestive Diseases found that probiotics help improve lactose digestion, prevent constipation, and irregularity, and may have healing effects on the intestinal tract.[/list]
Note: Otherwise the food was consistently perfectly appropriate and tasty.
* Here's a free
Clearing Process that works.
Addendum 1:Shortly after posting the above, after emptying my mind of minutia, my friend, who happened to visit me twice during my month at the Vet's Home, recommended I watch a video by Michael Rossato-Bennett titled
Alive Inside. I was so moved that I bought the DVD, a Sansa Clip+ Player and 25 musical selections @ $1.25 per aong for Japanese-American residents
* at the Home. The essence of the video is that the producer discovered when visiting hospice facilities, that often when placing a stereo headset on a senior who seldom moved (virtually catatonic) that the senior suddenly started moving to the music. The otherwise expressionless elders acknowledge the experience with facial expressions of joy, wonderment, and loving appreciation. They began to move to the rhythm; many started "conducting" the music. In other words—there is someone "Alive Inside" —all it takes is intention (communication).
I bought and sent the DVD, the clip+ Player, earbuds, and a 32GB memory card to the head nurse for a test run. I did not hear that she received it.
* There are a significant number of Japanese-American WWII Vets and spouses at the Home so, for the experiment, I burned music appropriate to that age-group and culture.
Addendum 2:While in the process of completing the above project, the following thoughts appeared. Using communication coaching lingo: In the space created by completing the above yet another incomplete appeared. As you read the following you'll see why my mind didn't want to verbally acknowledge the thought to anyone; you'll also have a better appreciation for my own clearing process—
Potential Rumors —it's where I empty my mind.
What I noticed about the majority of the Home's residents was the lack of aliveness of happiness. I didn't dare address this observation to anyone, for fear of (insert typical litany of fears). Tain't no doubt, it's a place where people go to die, to learn how to talk with funeral-home reverence. The halls were virtually silent. None of the typical hallway buzz of conversations, laughter, etc. of a communal residence. Obviously, the implied agreement is that this is the way one behaves towards the "end." My consideration is that it could be a happier environment. Aliveness-happiness-vibrancy is a function of, a by-product of, communication; less-than-alive is a by-product of talking.
There are three major influences that create the present atmosphere (3 ways of communicating that produce this condition), this community-resident-staff member buzz.
For example: Residents come to the Home from family and community relationships in which all concerned are withholding dozens of thoughts from each other, all have become stuck doing their
imitation of communication; ergo, there's no sign of aliveness (belly laughs are rare). This addiction to
withholding thoughts costs one their very aliveness, their spontaneity. Most elders die with hundreds of verbally unacknowledged perpetrations (lies, deceits, abuses, thefts, things they've done or not done, for which they feel badly). With this way of communicating one can't be absolutely certain that the source of a health problem might just be the self-imposed karma of an unacknowledged perpetration. Equally important are the thousands of good deeds and accomplishments that have not been acknowledged by anyone. In other words, residents come to the Home incomplete, from relationships in which there has been a
breakdown in communication. It could be said that the friends and relatives, using their home-made communication model (their addiction to withholding certain thoughts from each other) have shut down their elders; they have
caused them to not be joyous. No doubt some elders get sick or misbehave just to be removed from their deadening home life.
Another contributor to this less-than-alive environment is the melding of communication models each staff member uses at home with the one they use between themselves and the residents. The aura of the staff reveals (they communicate non-verbally and psychically) that they are dragging around life's unacknowledged incompletes into each and every interaction throughout the day. Like the residents, they too are addicted to withholding;
** it affects not only their aliveness but the aliveness of all with whom they relate.
BTW: No more no less addicted than most everyone else in our community. None are reaping all the rewards that come from being in-integrity and of serving.
And, they are performing at a higher degree of integrity than most in the community; as one approaches communication mastery one begins to acknowledge the correlation between one's personal integrity and outcomes.
**** Notice that the "good" staff have been ineffective in supporting the "No perfume" rule. Perhaps they mentioned it once but failed, as did I, so they compromise their integrity daily, ostensibly in support of harmony/job survival. It creates a condition of out-integrity, of disrespect for supervisors.
** The mind of a pilot who survives a crash in which others died always recalls life's unacknowledged perpetrations. "I wonder if the crash had something to do with the fact that I was deceiving ____?" "Could it be because I lied on my job application form?" "Could it have anything to do with my lapsed car insurance?" "Is it because I didn't acknowledge my verbal abuse to my child before leaving the house?" Followed with, "Nah." Most people require a circumstance such as an accident, a health issue, a divorce, or a job loss, to force them to address their arrogance and ignorance.
Addendum 3:I love what happened when I emptied my mind of the above thoughts (considerations) —it created space for more incompletes/withholds. I recommend that you do it via the free clearing process. Clearing creates a whole new set of more-desirable thoughts.
Many people believe others know, that marijuana, besides supporting lethargy, also affects one's IQ (Intelligence Quotient). Given the eventuality of marijuana laws disappearing it appears that millions and millions, including myself, will succumb to apathy and its age-associated health issues. I mention this because I'm unaware of any hospice-like facility that allow its residents to ingest (brownies, cookies, candy, etc.) marijuana.
I'm want to say that pot smoking and retirement have been two well-kept secrets. The all-elusive happiness abounds effortlessly. Cesar Milan, The Dog Whisperer, proves time and again that our vibrations affect all living things, even determining how they react to you. I find that my ground of being has an effect on interactions, at least when I'm awake (conscious). The stage of consciousness I've arrived at through age, life experiences, and medical pot smoking is truly wonderful. Thank you for your part in this outcome.
The benefits of pot combined with age? I've lost memories of stuff that clouded/occupied my mind. Old movies are new again. There's no need to justify or to make myself wrong. It's been a long time coming but I'm evolving, from being a relatively ineffective educator to being an entertainer; communications no longer come from a place of wanting to change or help you. There's no more need for apologetic "senior moment" excuses—because the condition is what I/we have been intending. I mention this because I find myself having more moments of compassion for those who have lost or are in the process of letting go of their mind (my judgmental mind wants to add, especially teachers and politicians
*).
With the above thoughts in mind, I'm intending a community in which we have the legal right to end our life quickly rather than dramatize our addiction to mediocrity—which forces survivors (friends, family, neighbors and the medical and health professionals) to empty our bedpans as we approach the end of the game. It's an irresponsible shitty (and costly) way to punish others for playing half-assed.
* The price we pay for supporting politicians in playing the present hypocritical game is invalidating; it generates apathy and thoughts of hopelessness. If we are going to continue to communicate as we have been doing, which drives us even further crazy, then we need to grant ourselves permission to opt-out of the game with dignity. I for one don't have the leadership-communication skills to cause things to work as I know they can, ergo. like yourself, I let everyone run things as long as they/you don't mess it up too badly.
Addendum 4: (12/9/15) After watching the Time Life advertisement for Carol Burnett's lost episodes, I ordered a set of "CAROL LOST EPISODES 10DVD SET" for the home. Our age group loved Carol.
