Mokita: A truth everyone knows that no one talks about.

[Kerry]

I love the word mokita. ". . . a truth everyone knows that no one talks about." (see examples below). A mokita reveals our hypocrisies, especially those that drive teens to drugs, to sneaky teen sex, and (of late) more suicides. We are causing teens to think there's something wrong with them; we expect teens to want to live in this "Trump-like" mess we've created, one we apparently feel powerless to do anything about. It's virtually impossible to respect someone who puts up with a problem.

We ignore the fact that certain hypocrisies by parents, teachers, politicians, clergy, and the police, affect one's moral compass. The assumption being: When a teen hasn't been taught how to get high through communication, such as the Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person/Teen, they often try sex or drugs. 

Examples of our hypocrisies:

• All police chiefs, and their subordinates, know of one or more unethical officers within their organization, including those who are abusively cheating on their spouse; rare is a chief who effectively inspires/insists upon spousal fidelity as a condition of employment. Most law enforcement professionals have not had a direct (life-changing) experience of the correlation between personal integrity and outcomes, yet all intuit that a community has no choice other than to mirror the integrity of its law enforcement personnel.¹

• The majority of high school principals accept wages for granting diplomas to students whom they know cannot compute the best grocery prices, who don't know the costs of having and raising a child through age 18, how to complete a basic 1040 IRS form, or how to comprehend, "Some assembly required" instructions, and students, who have not been guided in having a direct experience of how personal integrity affects all outcomes.²

• Teachers nationwide teach the majority of their students to eventually teach their children to deceive them; evidenced by the fact that the majority of teens con each other into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex -- [behind their backs].

• The majority of parolees have not been acknowledged (caught) for the crimes/perpetrations they committed prior to the one for which they were convicted, ergo, more than 50% return to prison--such is their unconscious need to be acknowledged for all of life's perpetrations. A con cannot respect anyone (especially prison counselors and parole board members) whom they can con.

• All prison employees, including Parole Board Members, have one or more perpetrations for which they have not been acknowledged; they drag these withholds and incompletes into all interactions--as such, they cannot always experience a lie or a con's con.

• All divorced couples withheld a significant thought from each other on their first date, thereby becoming cause for the deceptions (breakdowns in communication) leading to the divorce. Both brought their addictions to deceit and blaming into the relationship; both needed to attract someone who would perfectly mirror their integrity for them.

• All (yes all) students who are failing are not in-communication with anyone; they are withholding one or more significant thoughts from someone significant; they are surrounded by adults who have become stuck doing their imitation of communication.

• All (yes all) veterans who have elicited a diagnosis of PTSD have one or more significant thoughts they are hiding (withholding) from one or more significant others. "significant" meaning, if the thought were communicated verbally (as opposed to communicating it non-verbally/physically) it would cause upset or anger or an undesirable consequence; virtually none have been guided to acknowledge the source of, the cause for, the "wounding/traumatic incident."

• All (yes all) spousal abuse is equally co-created. The partner who didn't insist that the other verbally acknowledge the very first abusive communication ("I need to hear you say that you know that what you just said didn't feel good.") became cause (non-verbally set up their partner) for all successive abuses; there are no victims or bullies in spousal abuse--only co-conspirators both blaming the other.

• Most religious organizations send money to other countries knowing that there are hungry-homeless people within their own community (a significant percent of tithings are from parishioners accepting some form of welfare). Clerics and parishioners alike ignore the fact that if their teachings worked it would work (shelter and food-wise) for their entire community.³

• The majority of parents deceive their children; they hide their own teen perpetrations (first lie, first theft, first sex or drugs) from their teen. Teens believe they are not as good as their parents were/are--it often creates a condition of hopelessness, "I can never be as good as ..." --such parents unconsciously train their child to withhold certain thoughts.

• Recently many communities have been removing statues of former Confederate leaders (Generals Lee and Jackson) who bought/owned/sold slaves. In present-day Russia statues of Lenin and Stalin have been removed because they, like Hitler, invaded and killed others in the name of expansion and uniting; if one supports this reasoning then shouldn't the statues of King Kamehameha, in Hawaii, be removed because he raided and slaughtered thousands of Hawaiians--all in the name of "uniting" the islands? Try explaining that reasoning to a brilliant 10-yr-old.

• The vast majority of teens do not have even one person with whom they are in open, honest, and spontaneous communication (they are hiding one or more significant thoughts from everyone they know). All adults can remember that as a teen they carried deceits into each and every interaction with others, for fear of . . . yet few parents use any version of the Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person/Teen.

¹ Here in Hawaii most agree that we have the nicest police, yet most everyone believes/knows that some "cops" steal, use, grow, or used to grow, marijuana.

² With one or two rare exceptions the majority of high school principals have not attended a Leadership Training Program therefore teachers can count on their principal to not hold them to the standards--no excuses, no reasons. Few teachers are as strict as they know they could/should be--consequently, nationwide, for decades, 25% of all college freshmen have required remedial comprehension and composition courses to learn what their K-12 "teachers" failed to communicate; because of reasons.

³ 9/18/17: 1 in 5 Utah families can't afford enough food.

Last edited 7/16/24[/list]